situation gadbad hai....

So now we have a wedding. We have the bride and we have the groom.
They go home and they start a family..

"The stories of the events between my parent's wedding and my birth are few but are quite significant to me.."

now many of you people after reading the following post might want to speak with me.
I shall reply if i myself feel confortable.

The truth i speak about the things that have happened and are still happening even today ,

" the whole truth and nothing but the truth....."

My dad had married a remarkably beautiful lady, my mother had done her B.A in economics. and was pretty much sitting idle at home.
Her older sisters were married and already having children..
Pretty obvious that in every house a woman of marriageable age is always a burden.

They send requests for allainces got several proposals some pretty good..

Now when my dad's proposal came around, it was not very "attractive", and was rejected, but after 2 years when it returned. it was accepted..
To tell you ,perhaps it was against my moms will, or perhaps some things happened immediately after the wedding...

My mother was unhappy with the alliance and this was pretty evident from the beginning..
perhaps it was the expectation she had about her husband that didn't match up with my father or maybe the advices she recieved from relatives and mother was sort of misleading.

My mother was difficult to manage.. she was easiy irritated, was mostly sad and quite lonely.
when my father's friends would show up. she wouldn't open the door until dad was home.
Stories of her walking out of a post wedding party is pretty famous , even though i came to know about this quite recently.

situation sachmuch gadbaad thaa.....

things deteriorated... families got involved. and finally my mom would go back to kerala...
leaving my dad alone. talks about a divorce raged on both sides, perhaps a lot more on my mothers side.

But by now my mother was pregnant. and in the womb i acted as the umbelical chord in the marriage..

Recently i saw a comic on t.v speaking about wives who keep saying " main to apne bachchon ki khatir tumhare saath hoon" and i thought...how true is this... lots of parents get divorced for silly reasons , never once thinking about their child and a lot of others stay together cribbing, nagging ever abusing each other in front of their child .
which is worse? which is more agonious to the child ?

Today, where both the parents are working members it seems quite simple to do the "sane" thing // to end the agony of a marriage... but there the children have a serious lack.. they lack what they need the most.
The word family.
To have to see ur father visit you once a week or to have to watch your step dad in front of you while 3 blocks away your father is sitting with his new found girlfriend watching casablanca..

well this did not happen in my life.. my parents are still married. not happily and i can't lie about this.
But things today aren't as bad. happiness is slightly more than the sorrow in their marriage today.

But i have always wondered.. what if that day when i was born i was with a single mother ?
In my case that was bad because my mother didnot have a joband didn't have a support system..

Maybe to say that their marriage is a result of a sort of sacrifice or an act of kindness from my father is ridiculous.
but isn't it?


The thing about hindu philosophy is that we uphold marriage with a great reverence and passion , with honour, marriage is forever in our culture. and the western culture of divorce is not something we can understand or accept.

But isn't it better sometimes to end something thats just too bad to keep going.
Perhaps the idea of a "live- in" relationshiip be4 marriage is not such a bad idea after all.
Or the idea of a love marriage.

But the trouble seemed to have a solution in my parents marriage...

ME